Advertisement

За тихой рекою (Za tikhoï rekoïou) (English translation)

Advertisement
English translation

Beyond the quiet river

Beyond the quiet river, in the birch grove,
the first spring flower will bloom,
and I will make the simplest wish
and cross myself then look to the East.
 
Dawn will dye the sky crimson
and the eternal sun will rise over the world
and the white bird will soar over the earth
and bring the Lord's forgiveness from the skies.
And the white bird will soar over the earth
and bring the Lord's forgiveness from the skies.
 
And my heart will open up to something
too big for my life to encompass.
And all will become quiet and sweet, as when
my mother embraced me in my childhood.
And all will become quiet and sweet, as when
my mother embraced me in my childhood.
 
My holy prayer will flow like tears,
the love of Christ will imbue my sorrow,
and in that moment my soul will touch
the great universe that is called Rus'1
 
  • 1. ancient name of Russia, meant as the essence of the country
This translation does not claim to be of any particular value.
Glad if you liked it, sorry if you didn't.
You can reuse it as you please.
Glad if it's for knowledge or understanding, sorry if it's just for money or fame.
Submitted by petit élève on Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:00
Added in reply to request by Jadis
Author's comments:

C'est expérimental.
Je suis certain que @sandring ferait mille fois mieux.
Pas vrai, Nadia ?

5
Your rating: None Average: 5 (3 votes)
Russian

За тихой рекою (Za tikhoï rekoïou)

More translations of "За тихой рекою (Za ..."
See also
Comments
St. Sol    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:15

И я загадаю желание попроще == And I will make a simple(r) wish
И Божие прощение с небес принесёт == (continues from previous line: and the bird) Will bring the Lord's forgiveness from heavens.
Regards, St.

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:12

Oh sorry, I had missed the "wish" completely. Thank you.

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:25

И перекрестившись взгляну на Восток / and cross myself looking to the East. —-> and crossing myself will look to the East???
Or am I overthinking?

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:29

Well that's what the Russian says, but in English that sounds a bit odd.
I mean, crossing oneself only takes a moment, while he will be staring at dawn for a while.
Maybe "and look to the East as I cross myself"?
What do you think?

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:49

Well, i am not in the religious things, but following your pattern —> взглянуть - only takes a moment, but окрещать себя крестными знамением можно неоднократно
Масло масленное in, I think, but is it the East or dawn? That make a difference

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:51

Ok, I see. I'll stick to the Russian and use "glance" instead of "look" then.

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:07

Восход - dawn, sunrise
East - восток, geography or culturally, like eastern cultures
Ждут беды с востока, I think

petit élève    Thu, 05/07/2018 - 00:16

Well, that's all linked together in Christian religion.
Turing to the East to behold the rising sun as a symbol of resurrection, if I'm not mistaken?

Jadis    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 14:55

I guess, перекрестившись means "having crossed myself" (après m'être signé).

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:02

Effectivement, je me suis fait avoir par le perfectif Regular smile

Jadis    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:09

Well, the English translation sounds not bad to me at all (although I'm not an English native speaker). True, "За тихой рекою" would rather be "on the other side of the quiet river", but this would be very long... Also, "белая птица взлетит" = "the white bird will fly off" (prendra son envol), but it's perhaps better not to translate word for word... Your note about the word 'Rus' is quite relevant. Thank you !

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:13

Oui, j'ai préféré quelque chose de plus court. J'aurais pu mettre "beyond" mais ça ressemblerait plutôt à "au-delà de".
Peut-être "soar" au lieu de "fly" ?

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:15

Dawn will dye the sky crimson —- this sounds very nice, Pierre Regular smile

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:35

Sorry, forgo about Slavic Brothers — переклад на українскую мову == «немає за що»

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:35

That was my first try, but then I decided to check my spelling with GT — nice to hear that I was ok, I should trust more to my instincts ;D

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 21:25
Alexander Laskavtsev wrote:

Это ж по-испански... (я снова К.О.) Regular smile

Забыла спросить что такое К.О.?

Sophia_    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 21:27

Captain Obvious

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 21:37

А по-русски? Или украински?

Sophia_    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 21:38

Капитан Очевидность

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 21:50

Ok, just to make sure we are on the same page. Wink smile

Jadis    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:22

Beyond, oui, ça me paraît bien (on dit bien "beyond the Jordan", au-delà / de l'autre côté / du Jourdain). Il y a une chanson ukrainienne qui s'appelle "За Дунаєм" (За Дунаєм, за Дунаєм, Там музика грала = De l'autre côté du Danube, On jouait de la musique...) Pour "soar", d'après mon dico c'est bien ça, mais il faudrait demander vérification auprès d'un anglophone confirmé, je préfère ne pas m'engager...

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:25

OK, on va essayer ça, alors.
Voilà encore du boulot pour @Gavin. Il va finir par parler russe, à force Regular smile

Gavin    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:33

Well "soar" is excellent for starters! Regular smile

I really can't see anything wrong with that - it reads as though written by a native. The only line I hesitated over was "as when
my mother embraced me as a child." - and that's just because the repeated "as" sounds a bit awkward. Maybe change the second one to "when I was a child". Or possibly the first one to "like" (but I don't think that sounds quite as nice)

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:38

Tanks again, guv' Regular smile
Would "in my childhood" work? It would be slightly closer to the Russian. Or else I'll stick to "when I was a child".

Gavin    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:40

Yes, I think either way is fine Regular smile

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:43

I'll use "in my childhood" and get rid of the second "when" then.

Gavin    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:35

Funny thing - having tried to learn a little Greek the Russian letters now make a bit more sense.

However I'm sticking to French with a side-serving of Spanish for now Regular smile

Gavin    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:41

Indeed, it's obvious to me now. They were just squiggles before Wink smile

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:38

I can understand that. I would never have the nerve to dabble in Russian if not for all these painful years at school Regular smile

Jadis    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:38
5

Me semble une très bonne version anglaise pour ce texte très "russe" !

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:39

Merci. Vu la qualité de vos traductions, j'apprécie le compliment.

Jadis    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 15:44

P.S. Une très bonne version exécutée par des non-professionnels ici : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wep9qPaK0I (je ne sais pas très bien encore ajouter des vidéos à un texte, si quelqu'un peut le faire - et si c'est autorisé - ce serait super !

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:07

Voilà, c'est fait. Très joli, en effet.
Le russe c'est vraiment une langue faite pour le chant choral.

Sinon, la liste des tags est ici.

Jadis    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:08

Spasibo, bylo otchen' priïatno !

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:31

И что-то большое откроется сердцу
Такое что жизнью моей не объять
****
And my heart will open up to something
too big for my life to encompass.
+=======
что-то откроется сердцу — IMHO it means “the hearth (and I along with it) will learn/discover/find/gotcha something, maybe not right and not right now, but the day will come...
I am not sure your translations encompasses the same meaning, but I might be wrong Regular smile

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:41

I understand it as "my heart will become receptive to something so huge that I couldn't grasp it even if I spent my whole life trying".
It's about the essence of Russia, I suppose? Something you feel but can't explain?
I just tried to convey that in a few words.
Or did I miss something?

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:44

It’s about something big that will be opened to the heart , not about your heart Regular smile
Does it make sense?

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:47

Not really Regular smile
If it's not about his own heart, whose heart is it about?

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:49

Whoever’s heart is in the song Regular smile

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 16:53

Ok, the lack of articles can give the Russian a more general meaning, but he explicitely says "in my life" just after.

I can't think of a way to remain that vague in English. If I say "the heart" is will just sound odd. "everybody's heart" would sound heavy. Or do you see another option?

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 17:13

Ok, in my American(Russian) spoken English:

Something great would speak to my heart
Something too {the rest is yours} big for my life to encompass.

petit élève    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 17:31

Ok, I made the heart the subject, but it doesn't really change the meaning, or does it?
If you keep the Russian word order, you need to refer to this "something" again in the next line:
"something will confide to my heart, something so huge that..."
That sounds a bit heavy, I think

Igeethecat    Wed, 04/07/2018 - 17:48

That Is to the English native to criticize Regular smile
I hate to say it - but are right Regular smile

Pages