Der Hölle Rache kocht (English translation)

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Proofreading requested
German

Der Hölle Rache kocht

Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen,
Tod und Verzweiflung flammet um mich her!
Fühlt nicht durch dich Sarastro
Todesschmerzen,
So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr.
So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr.
 
Verstossen sei auf ewig,
Verlassen sei auf ewig,
Zertrümmert sei'n auf ewig
Alle Bande der Natur
Wenn nicht durch dich!
Sarastro wird erblassen!
 
Hört, Rachegötter,
Hört der Mutter Schwur!
 
Submitted by mario.rodriguezgonzalez.9 on Mon, 10/06/2013 - 19:09
Last edited by Hansi K_Lauer on Tue, 11/10/2016 - 12:21
Align paragraphs
English translation

The vengeance of hell burns

The vengeance of Hell burns in my heart,
Death and despair flame at me!
If, through you, Sarastro does not feel
the pain of death,
then you shall never again be my daughter.
You shall never again be my daughter.
 
Be disowned forever,
be left away forever,
be destroyed forever,
all the bonds of Nature,
if, through you, shall not
Sarastro be made pale! 1
 
Hear, Gods of Revenge!
Hear the Mother's oath! 2
 
  • 1. I´m not exactly sure of what´s that exactly supposed to mean. My dictionary quotes "erblassen" quite inequivocally as "Turn or become pale". It could be an idiom, but I´m guessing, since she is wishing "the pain of death" on him, that this might refer to him becoming pale after dying, like corpses do
  • 2. Or "The mother of oaths", though I thing then you would need to invert the order
Submitted by mario.rodriguezgonzalez.9 on Mon, 10/06/2013 - 19:09
The author of translation requested proofreading.
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Comments
Glenn    Sun, 19/08/2018 - 15:53

Your translation is very fine.

Here are some respectful proofreading suggestions -

Hell's vengeance seethes in my heart,
Death and despair blaze around me!
If, through you, Sarastro shall not feel
the pain of death,
Then are you my daughter nevermore
Then are you my daughter nevermore.

Disowned be forever,
Abandoned be forever,
Forever be shattered
all the bonds of Nature,
If not, through you,
Sarastro shall expire

Hear, Gods of Vengeance,
Hear the Mother's geas!

Note: It is suggested that the exact translation of "Schwur" in this context is the early English term "geas" -

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/geas

However, as that word is little used even poetically in modern English, the translation as "oath" may be considered more accessible.

Glenn    Sun, 19/08/2018 - 15:54

P.S. the early English term "geas" is pronounced like an elision of the two English words gay-ash, with the "a" in ash very lightly spoken, entirely unstressed.

Brat    Sun, 19/08/2018 - 18:36

Well, I've never met anyone who could tell me the correct pronunciation of this word. Teeth smile "ˈɡɛʃ" is stated as North American here. But I heard some Brits said so a couple of times. For British English, the Oxford dictionary transcribes it as "ɡas". And I heard some Americans saying it this way. And in Scotland they usually say "ɡiəʃ".
Were I in Ireland, I would certainly tell you the best way of pronouncing it, but I'm not there and, unfortunately, I haven't been there even once...