L'amour à la machine (English translation)

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Proofreading requested
English translation

Washed out love

Put our love in a washing machine,
boil it
to see if the original colours
can be back.
Can bleach restore
the feelings
to this pristine white we used to think would last
forever?
 
To see again the rosy hue
of your cheek now gone so pallid,
the blue our kisses were at first,
lost into the sky...
 
Put our love in a washing machine,
boil it
to see if the original colours
can be back.
Can bleach restore
the feelings
to this pristine white we used to think would last
forever?
 
Matisse, love is a hard blue,
cuddling is a brittle red.
Life's sun gives them a beating,
and so they fade.
 
Come on! To the washing!
 
Red1 to topple the destitution
of our nice little grandads,
Black hands in kids' blond hair2
all around the world.
 
Put our love in a washing machine,
boil it
to see if the original colours
can be back.
Can bleach restore
the feelings
to this pristine white we used to think would last
forever?
 
Come on! To the washing!
 
  • 1. as the communist flag
  • 2. "boucles blondes" (blond curls) is a fixed expression for "sweet little kids"
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Submitted by petit élève on Mon, 02/07/2018 - 17:06
Added in reply to request by kochenkova
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
French

L'amour à la machine

More translations of "L'amour à la machine"
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Comments
Gavin    Mon, 02/07/2018 - 19:52

A nice song by Souchon senior there. Regular smile
Couple of little things -
Paled - I don't think that really works there. "Pallid" maybe but I'd rather see "To see again the rosy hue of your cheek turn pale" or "To see the rosy hue of your cheek turn pale once more"
Granddads => grandads
Black as hands... isn't it more "black, the hands" or more typically just "Black hands"

petit élève    Mon, 02/07/2018 - 20:00

dang, I have trouble with this "pale/pallid".
As for what Souchon means there, it's "to see again the pink of your cheek that has turned pallid since (with the years)".
How would you put that in a few simple words ? Regular smile

Gavin    Mon, 02/07/2018 - 20:20

Yeah - I'd generally avoid "paled" unless you mean "showed weakness in front of what faced him" eg "he paled before the enormity of the challenge ahead"

I think what you have now is good... maybe a bit clearer if you add "now" - "now gone so palid"

Or go a different way : " To bring the rosy glow back to your cheeks, now turned so pale" something like that. Regular smile